Sociologists Search for the Cause
Some very revealing facts have been brought to light by recent studies of representative groups all over the world. For instance, it was found in London, England, that vast percentages of supposedly "happily married people" would very readily SWAP PARTNERS, and that great percentages of these married people openly admitted they would not marry their present mates again!
Our marriages are going mad. Thousands live together who literally hate each other. Others just barely "tolerate" an unhappy marriage — disgruntled, frustrated, MAD most of the time.
WHY? What is it that turned these marriages upside down? How does it come to be that two people, who, while only years before were breathing terms of endearment to each other — proposing, making marriage plans, caught up in the joys and thrills of young love — are now in the throes of anger and violence?
What makes a marriage "go sour"?
The answers are varied — and every one of them actually applies. For instance, it was found almost 90 out of 100 divorce cases statistically prove that people are head over heels in debt.
Another major factor which has been singled out was the high incidence of younger marriages taking place in the world today. For example, last June's marrying couples average the youngest in the nation's history!
It was proved divorce occurs six times more often among those who marry under the age of 21 than among the 21-plus brides and grooms. Another major contributing factor in the high teen-marriage-divorce rate was, according to most authorities, that 40 percent were forced into marriage as a result of premarital pregnancy.
Hugo A. Bordeaux, executive director of the Marriage Counseling Service, Baltimore, Maryland, said, "All over America, husbands and wives cannot talk to each other. This, I am convinced, is our No. 1 marriage problem. . ."
The Institute of Family Relations in Los Angeles lists sexual maladjustment as the leading cause of marital discord. One study of 500 consecutive unsuccessful marriages found all but one placed the blame on sex!
An internationally conducted UNESCO poll recently revealed that 60 percent of American and European married women feel deceived, frustrated, unhappy and dissatisfied — mainly, they believe — because no one really understands them!
These are just a few of the MAJOR causes listed by leading institutes and study groups for the rampant problems of divorce.
All of them, to a certain degree, are absolutely true! However, no single ONE of them provides the whole answer. That answer will unfold as you read.
Another cause of marital unhappiness is due to the Western world's preoccupation with sex.
The Onslaught of Sex
Maybe it "embarrasses" you to admit it — but you live in a sex-crazed world! Literature is becoming increasingly filled with sex. But what kind of sex?
Fully fifty percent of the population of the world you'll meet belong to the opposite sex. Mutual attraction, courtship, love, marriage — the attraction for, and right and normal desire toward, a potential mate, if not an inordinate, illegal, lustful desire, is RIGHT in God's sight. But a refreshing story about two clean young people who grow to love one another, and become married to establish a home would be a miserable FLOP as a motion picture today.
People lust to see WEIRD sex. They want perverted, distorted, illicit sex. And the writers, directors, actors and sponsors are going to give lustful society exactly what it wants.
Sex in Entertainment
Motion pictures concern themselves with every possible evil, investigating every twisted avenue of perversion — gnawing away at the vitals of home life. A normal, wholesome, "average" courtship with resultant marriage, and the establishment of a balanced HOME life would attract NO one. But DIVORCE? Triangles? Unfaithfulness? These are "box-office!" These sell seats.
Millions flocked to see the movie, "How to Murder Your Wife!" It was just "good clean fun" according to most — but regardless as to how well camouflaged, regardless as to the "sick" humor so many seem to enjoy today — the story was built around a man who was trying to do just that.
In nearly all entertainment media — marriage is stultified. The picture of middle-aged couples celebrating their golden wedding anniversary gratifies no one. But divorce is praised.
No longer is the public shame connected with the admission that one partner or the other has utterly failed to live a peaceful and happy married life — but virtual popularity hinges on the number of unsuccessful marriages contracted.
But in the words of J. Paul Getty, reputed to be one of the wealthiest men in the world, "I'd give away all my millions for just ONE successful marriage!"
The world stares at the spectacle of the "Hollywood marriage-go-round" with near adoration. Jokes in magazines ridicule the married state; imply middle-aged husbands are better off without middle-aged wives.
Broken homes, triangles, extramarital excursions and affairs — these are the spicy tales that sell movies, novels and magazine series.
Attacks on Marriage
And not only is the attack against marriage coming from sheer sensual LUST, and the perverted entertainment media — but from church leaders, from "psychologists" and "marriage counselors."
Many openly advocate the complete abolition of the married state. They promulgate free "love" — meaning the animal license to openly cohabit with any and all members of the opposite sex, regardless as to children or other unfortunate consequences.
Others advocate "marriages" between men. Man with man — living together in disgusting perversion — utterly condemned by their Maker! Yes, even religious leaders talk of permitting such perverted abominations.
For example, a San Francisco gynecologist told a group of general practitioners recently there is "no such thing as a 'good' or 'bad' sex act." The doctors were told, "when love is 'mature,' each partner's welfare is as important to the other as his own. . . ." And, according to the gynecologist, "this 'mature' kind of erotic love is possible between two people of the same sex!"
Sex in "Literature"
Any newsstand today is a colorful collection of unabashed sex. Titles shout out infidelity, murder, rape, homosexuality, sadism, triangles, and all assorted forms of weird, mixed-up perversion.
Dozens of the more "respectable" publications carry articles regularly which treat with the same subjects, though in not quite so blatant a manner.
And what is the steady reading diet of millions of married mates?
What is their steady TV diet? What type motion pictures do they see? What type magazines, novels, comic strips do their minds dwell on?
Simple. The only thing available. Sloppy illicit sex. Perverted sex. Weird sex. Free sex. Premarital sex. Extramarital sex. Violence and sex. Intrigue and sex. Mystery and sex. War and sex.
Would you like to "kid" yourself these things are not true? Help yourself. Believe whatever makes you "happy." That's your privilege. But for those who are not afraid of the PLAIN TRUTH on the subject — one of the major, continuing reasons for marital fights, arguments, brawls, disagreements, and final DIVORCE IS the steady diet of SEX AND VIOLENCE being absorbed by the average marital partners.
What are our families "told" by the magazine articles they read? What about the television husband-and-wife shows? What do the comics say? What do the newspapers tell us about the way other families are living?
They talk constantly of sex. Of infidelity, unfaithfulness, unchastity; with a liberal sprinkling of lies, deceit, hypocrisy, crime, and perversion.
The widely acclaimed television serial "Peyton Place" is a continuing probe into the secret recesses of the minds of "normal" and "modern" people — people who lie, cheat, steal, commit adultery, arid drift from one meaningless experience into another.
Can It Be "Justified"?
But somehow the whole thing seems "justified" — because, after all, isn't everyone else doing it?
And besides — all the reasons for the wrong acts are carefully highlighted. By the time the crime, or the rape, or the marital infidelity is revealed — the viewer is found to be sympathizing with the perpetrator's motives.
Not even the modern ministry is ashamed — and neither does it blush. Rather, leaders of large, respected religious organizations unashamedly and openly advocate acceptance of homosexuals as perfectly "normal" members of society. Unfaithful mates are excused in their doctrines. Premarital sex experience is called "wholesome" or "good." Masturbation is called "normal" and "healthy."
And if all this giant surge toward wild sexual abandon is normal — if it is healthy — then just what, we candidly ask, is abnormal, and unhealthy?
Sex as the Expression of Love
Actual statistics collected from many studies have PROVED that an overwhelming majority of unsuccessful marriages are directly attributed by the frustrated marital partners themselves to sexual maladjustment.
Dr. R.L. Dickinson, in his book, Medical Analysis of a Thousand Marriages, states that 40 percent of women never attain satisfactory marital relationships.
And is it any wonder?
Since the normal marital relationship is merely the highest form of the expression of the outgoing LOVE of one marital partner toward another, is it any wonder so many marriages fail today? When this relationship — designed by an all-wise Creator as an outgoing expression of love — becomes a selfish, purely physical, carnal desire to get, it becomes a major reason for failure in marriage, instead of a basic reason for happy married life!
Admit it or not — most marriages break up because of SEX. Not that sex alone is the cause; but it is, in MOST cases, an underlying cause — while other problems may be symptomatic of that cause.
And I don't mean to say that simple lack of physiological knowledge, or lack of "compatibility" is the problem. It is the SPIRITUAL aspect of sex — the LOVE that should be shared, of which sex is an expression — that is the true problem.
Marriages break up because people never grow up to love. They begin in a flurry of excitement, sex, and fun.
But the frolic and fun soon give way to the problems of finance, children, sickness, and the simple process of "getting along" together. Too many people feel they are "in love" but they don't really "like" one another. But that's not love — it's a once-in-a-while LUST, without any of the real love they profess.
Marriages break up because people marry the WRONG people, for the wrong REASONS, at the WRONG TIME. (But then, there's never a right time to marry the wrong person) They break up because so few people have been educated — TRULY educated — to the very purpose and MEANING of marriage!
This magazine seeks to RIGHT that terrible wrong!
It seeks to EDUCATE to those basic PURPOSES and CAUSES in life—to reveal WHAT marriage is, WHY it is, and HOW IT WORKS. Marriages break up today because of a lack of education as to what marriage Is, when it began, WHY it is, and how it can be a delightful, wonderful, lasting success.
Whether your marriage is about "on the rocks," or whether you haven't yet married — you need our important booklets on the subject. Our newest booklet, Modern Dating — Key to Success or Failure in Marriage, goes thoroughly into the questions about dating, teenage romance, necking, and premarital sex — plus investigating the seven major keys to finding the RIGHT mate to marry.
Another, Why Marriage! Soon Obsolete? goes through the idea of sociologists — and shows the true SANCTITY of marriage, the amazing, hidden, totally ignored truth of WHAT MARRIAGE IS. A third, Your Marriage
Can be Happy incorporates some of the material you have read in this article, but much, much more besides, including HOW to solve family arguments — HOW to live in harmony, in happiness, at home. You'll want all three — they're full-color, attractive booklets — FREE to you, of course, provided by those who help us GIVE this educational service as part of the Ambassador College Extension Program—worldwide. Write for them before you forget.