GOVERNMENT in the Home
First, take a look at the order in your home. WHO IS IN CHARGE? Is there anyone who is in direct AUTHORITY over the family? Anyone who can make FINAL decisions? Anyone who really CONTROLS the family unit?
Our booklet, The PLAIN TRUTH About Child Rearing covers this subject thoroughly, and much has already been said about the deplorable upside down conditions in millions of families today where males and females are changing roles — where fathers are NOT the leaders in the home.
God Almighty established GOVERNMENT in the home.
He made the man to be the HEAD of the family — to RULE OVER the family. But HOW? What KIND of "rule"? In what specific WAYS is the father to govern his own family?
Let God answer.
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church: and He is the Savior of the body" (Eph. 5:22-23).
For those who TREMBLE before the sacred Word of God, (Isa. 66:2) this important scripture gives us several great principles!
First, it reveals the GREAT principle that SIN PLUS SIN DOES NOT EQUAL NO SIN! Let me explain. Since God says the wife is to submit unto the husband AS UNTO THE LORD, and since He makes NO DISTINCTION concerning poor husbands, weak husbands, dirty husbands, lazy husbands, or any husband who is not really performing his responsibilities correctly — then your Creator makes it clear the wife's duties remain BOUND — REGARDLESS as to the performance of the husband!
Let's simplify it.
No wife, according to the LAWS OF GOD, has any "right" to SIN AGAINST THE HUSBAND by refusing to OBEY him — because he first sins against her! It is terribly important you understand this vital principle of scripture. God says "Likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any OBEY NOT THE WORD [are NOT the right kind of providers, are NOT treating their wives and children correctly, are NOT following God's Word] they also may without the word be won by the conversation [CONDUCT] of the wives; while they behold your chaste conduct [margin] with fear" (I Pet. 3:1-2).
That is the very BASIS of Christianity. If one sin is an "excuse" for ANOTHER sin, you couldn't have a Savior!
But what happens, in the average home? The husband tries to point out a fault of the wife. The wife immediately retaliates by pointing out WORSE faults of the husband. Husband takes the defensive. The wife's wounded pride continues to probe and search through all his old sins — in an attempt at self-justification!
And it works both ways. The wife tries to point out an inadequacy, a weakness, a sin of the husband. His masculine pride is hurt. So he retaliates by completely ignoring the point she's trying to make, and begins to heap abuse upon her because of HER faults!
That's human nature.
And it's WRONG! It's Evil! It is invalid, irrelevant, dishonest, and does NOT PROVE anything, and NEVER solves the problem!
Do you get the point? So long as two marital partners live together in carnal animosity, in the belief that all the fault lies with the OTHER person — there is no beginning BASIS for happiness in the home.
The instant either one of the marital partners begins to OBEY GOD in JUST THIS ONE IMPORTANT POINT this MAJOR stigma to happiness will be removed. The OBEDIENT partner will simply REFUSE to reason "sin plus sin equals no sin." He or she will never again try to JUSTIFY THE SELF by pointing out the SINS OF THE OTHER! Once EITHER ONE of the partners does this, the cause of dozens of arguments will be removed. But it's not natural to listen patiently to your faults, and then sincerely ACKNOWLEDGE them, and resolve, with God's help, to DO something about them.
It's not natural to FORGIVE the mate, to OVERLOOK weaknesses, faults, sins — knowing YOU are also weak — no, it's not NATURAL, it's SPIRITUAL. And marriage is founded on SPIRITUAL BONDS.
That's why marriages need SPIRITUAL foundations to be truly happy!
The second great principle God reveals through the apostle Paul in Ephesians 5:22-23 is that the husband is the literal HEAD of the family; and, further, is HEAD of it in EXACTLY THE SAME MANNER as Christ is HEAD of the Church!
Few professing Christians will really understand this. Why? Simply because precious few professing "Christians" of today look upon Christ as their loving, forgiving, understanding, kindly, yet MASTERFUL, FIRM, STRONG, POWERFUL RULER! They don't acknowledge Him as Boss over their lives!
How does Christ RULE in His true Church?
Remember, Christ is ruling over a group He has mercifully FORGIVEN! Who composes the Church? Former crooks, criminals, perverts, sex deviates, liars, cheats, murderers, adulterers, fornicators, hypocrites, slanderers. Does that sound too strong?
Let's ask God about it. Paul was inspired to write, "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abuser of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And SUCH WERE SOME OF YOU; but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are JUSTIFIED in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God" (I Cor. 6:9-11).
God says, "For I will be MERCIFUL to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more!" (Heb. 8:12) And what a TREMENDOUS statement. What if God had said, "For I will NOT BE Merciful — and their sins and iniquities will I REMEMBER FOREVER"!? We would live our lives in TERROR of God, if He had.
But God promises, "For as the heaven is high above the earth, so GREAT is His mercy toward them that fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us." (Ps. 103:11-12)
WHOM does Christ rule over? Human beings — filled with faults, shortcomings, and weaknesses! Former SINNERS. Yet He rules in LOVE, in deep understanding and patience — not condoning sins, but forgiving them WHEN THEY'RE REPENTED of!
How should husbands "rule" over wives? AS CHRIST RULES THE CHURCH!
That means deep UNDERSTANDING when unpleasant situations occur. It means overlooking some of the weaknesses, the faults the mistakes. It does NOT mean condoning wrong conduct, but it means a totally different ATTITUDE in CORRECTING such problems than most husbands possess.
And how many husbands do you know who are just as PATIENT, as UNDERSTANDING, as KIND to their wives as is Christ to the Church? How many are just as FIRM in their absolute dedication to God's laws — yet just as FORGIVING when a sin has been REPENTED Of?
Wives are commanded to "be discreet, chaste, keepers at home not involved in a myriad of clubs, parties, civic groups; or holding down a second job) good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed" (Titus 2:5).
For more on the right GOVERNMENT in the home — write for the free article, "How to Have a Happy Marriage."
Be a FAMILY
Why is family life deteriorating so rapidly in our societies?
Simply because the entire WAY OF LIFE of our modern "cultures" has totally changed.
Families simply don't live as FAMILIES enough. Take the entertainment picture. How many millions of families sit before the television set by the hours — oftentimes even including mealtime — with hardly a word passing between them except whatever is necessary for food, or turning the dial?
Drive-in movies, restaurants, clubs, lodges, parties, novels, television, shopping trips; all these take their toll on our family life.
How often do YOU enjoy an interesting evening together around a piano? How often do you teach your children some useful and constructive skill? How often do the parents play various constructive games with their children?
If you do plan an evening out, or a short trip; is your FAMILY included?
When you go to a restaurant — are the children with you?
Think about it.
Family life is being STIFLED in our modern societies — simply because many families have CEASED BEING families — and are becoming public gatherings of casual acquaintances.
Parents don't know their children. They don't know their children’s' friends; their studies in school; their hopes and dreams. Children don't really KNOW their parents — don't even know exactly WHAT DAD DOES FOR A LIVING, chances are. Don't know WHAT KIND OF A DAY Mom lives, chances are.
You don't believe it? Take a test. Ask your boy or girl exactly what kind of work you do. What are the problems you face — what are the various aspects of your labor? Ask your children to describe the mother's day at home. You may be surprised.
Parents — ask your children what they did in school. With whom they did it. What did they learn by it? You'll find yourself in a discussion with your children if you do.
Let's not kid yourselves. You KNOW most of you are simply NOT LIVING TOGETHER AS A FAMILY! So why WONDER, why be surprised, if you're having family difficulties?
You can change. Any time. It's entirely up to you.
Why not begin to include YOUR FAMILY in nearly ALL your entertainment? Why not begin to really CONTROL your TV viewing? Why not begin to have meals together more, and make them interesting by DELIBERATELY creating interesting topics of conversation?
Try living a day DIFFERENTLY — starting tomorrow!