1) Be a Family
Families simply don't live as families enough. How many millions of families sit before the television by the hours — oftentimes even including mealtimes — with hardly a word exchanged except "pass the butter" or "change the channel"?
How often do you enjoy an interesting evening around the piano? How often do you teach your children some useful and constructive skills? How often do you play various games with your children?
If you do plan an evening out, or a short trip, is your family always excluded? Hopefully not. When you go to a restaurant, are the children with you at least some of the time?
Family life is being stifled in our modern society — partly because many families have ceased being families and are becoming merely occasional gatherings of casual acquaintances.
2) Get to Know Each Other
Parents don't know their children's friends, their studies in school, their hopes and dreams. Children don't really know their parents — don't even know for sure how dad makes a living; don't know what mom does on an average day.
You don't believe it? Take a test! Ask your boy or girl exactly what kind of work you do. What are the problems you face — what are the various ins and outs of your occupation? Ask your children to describe mom's typical day at home. You'll be surprised.
Parents, ask your children what they did in school; with whom they did it; what they learned by it. You'll soon find yourself in an interesting discussion with your children.
Parents, why not learn to include the whole family in some of your entertainment? Why not begin to really control your TV viewing? Why not begin to have meals together more? Why not try to create more interesting, scintillating conversations by deliberately choosing stimulating topics? Why not be more of a family?
3) Parents, Listen to Your Children
Talk to your children, teach your children, and above all, listen to them! Many a kid won't tell his father or his mother what's wrong, but he'll tell his closest friend at school. He'll share his deepest hopes and innermost pains with that other kid, but, more often than not, he won't open up to his own parents.
Why? It's like this. Mom and dad forgot how to listen a long time ago. The poor kid starts to say something and, just like that, dad interrupts. End of conversation. Finally, he just gives up altogether!
Parents, the most precious stewardship you've got is that of your own child. What a hideous crime it is to allow precious human character to slowly disintegrate right in front of your eyes!
4) Deliberately Plan a Different Day
Sometimes we all get in a rut. It takes deliberate, planned forethought to roust us out. One way to start a different day is to force yourself to get up half an hour earlier than usual. Plan to spend that extra time around the breakfast table with your family. Wives, plan ahead with some kind of "special" you're going to introduce into the breakfast routine. Husbands, bounce into the kitchen with a sparkle in your eye and with real cheer in your voice. Talk to your family — don't just bury your face in the morning newspaper.
Your family is like a beautiful garden. It needs lots of careful attention — watering, cultivating, pruning, weeding out of wrong practices and habits. It needs diligent work — not just accidental happenstance.
5) Have a Weekly Family Night
Pick one night of the week when the whole family can be together. Plan something special. For openers, mom might like to serve a different and interesting ethnic dish. You might let the children set up the games. Or perhaps go out together to a Disney movie.
What about churning up some old-fashioned, homemade ice cream? Invite your children's friends to the occasion once in a while. These are just some ideas to get you started. Once you get the ball rolling, you won't have enough nights to put all your ideas into effect. The main thing is learning to do things together as a family.
Family night has recently become a regular practice for most members of the Worldwide Church of God. I'd like you to read a few letters about how some of them observe their family nights.
From Danville, Illinois: "I have been a member of the Church for five years and now have a very rewarding career as coordinator of the Family Education Center in Danville. At F.E.C., we have study-discussion groups for parents who want to prevent family problems by learning parenting skills. We use books like Raising a Responsible Child by Don Denhmeyer and Gary McKay. In our groups we have one session on ways to encourage children to be more cooperative and responsible by involving them in problem-solving, recreation planning and even rule-making and discipline. This is not intended to be a `voting session' where parents are outvoted, but as an opportunity for even young children to give important input into the smooth running of a family. This is a part of our family night and a very important one."
From Aurora, Colorado: "Thank you, thank you, and thank you— a hundred times over — for 'instituting' a family night! This world is so fast moving it takes its toll on all of us until there is no time left for family. We don't have a big family yet, only a five-month-old son, but since family night began three weeks ago, we truly look forward to that special night each week when we can do things we might not do or enjoy if we didn't actually have such a night."
From Cincinnati, Ohio: "We are going to hold our family gathering this week in the park. We enjoy cooking out, so we will cook and eat in the park. This will also allow us to enjoy the beauty of the park in the spring."
What Makes a Nation Great?
I couldn't agree more with President Carter's evaluation of the family. He said: "The entire history of the human race teaches us that the family unit is the best way for men and women to live their lives, the best way to raise children, and the only solid foundation upon which to build a strong nation."
The family unit represents the basic building block of any civilization. The family is our most precious institution. Let's bring it back!