The Right Balance
But there is another side to this coin. Husbands should not only understand but RESPECT the high calling of their wives. They should give God thanks for their help, and for their co-operation and obedience.
Every man should drive himself to provide a decent living for his wife and children — and should then keep his wife at home, where GOD says she belongs. And he should pray for love, wisdom and self-control in leading and guiding his family, and in being the kind of father that his wife and children can look up to with the right kind of pride.
Every husband must use his "backbone" and willpower to take his rightful place as the head of his house. But to have a happy and successful home, he must do this in the right attitude. He must not be swelled up with pride and begin to "lord it over" his wife and children as a tyrant or dictator. Rather, he must strive to give and to SERVE his family as its leader and provider. In humility, he should realize that he is best qualified to do this, and that he is held RESPONSIBLE for doing it properly.
God commands: "Husbands, LOVE your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (Eph. 5:25).
Both men and women need a new concept of marriage and of wifehood. They need to realize the great IMPORTANCE of a woman taking her place in the home as a good cook, an efficient housekeeper, a good mother who will not only care for but will teach and train her children in the right way, and a loving wife and companion for her husband.
Such a wife and mother merits the very highest respect and honor of her husband, her family, and of the whole society.
In describing such a woman, Solomon wrote: "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil" (Prov. 31:10-11).
Men and women have left God out of their thinking about love, sex, marriage and the family. Yet it is GOD who has ordained and instituted all of these!
The Right Attitude Toward Love and Sex
There is a great difference between the selfish, infantile emotion so many young people think of as "love" and the mature Christian love which every happily married couple should understand and experience. One of the problems encountered by young couples whose marriage is based upon infantile love is that each is expecting to receive all and give nothing. Each is so concerned with his own wants and desires that he is scarcely capable of recognizing the needs of his mate, or of fulfilling them.
On the other hand, mature love is based upon the Bible principle: "It is more blessed to GIVE than to receive." It seeks not primarily its own satisfaction, but wants to serve the beloved, to contribute to the fullest happiness and good of the other. And it is willing to work and sacrifice to achieve this goal.
Mature love does not make of sex an end in itself. Rather, our attitude toward sex should be based upon the understanding that it was GOD who made us male and female — it was God who created sex. Sex is as God-given and worthy as speech, sight or hearing and like these should be used properly — as the Creator intended.
In marriage, sex should be the highest expression of physical LOVE. As the apostle Paul commands, husband and wife should each regard his or her body as the property of the other (I Cor. 7:1-5). Their relation should be based on an outgoing love and concern for the beloved's happiness and welfare. Their attitude should be one of giving and serving.
Every young couple should know and understand the two great PURPOSES of sex. First, that it is to propagate the race — "be fruitful and multiply" (Gen. 1:28). Secondly, as indicated by the passage in I Corinthians 7, it is to be that complete sharing of two personalities in which each considers that he belongs to the other — a relationship and a sharing designed to protect and to increase the love of husband and wife for each other.
Any other reason for sex either in or outside of marriage is sin — and will ultimately bring sorrow, retribution and shame upon the parties involved!
If young people in dating, courtship and marriage would understand and abide by these two great purposes of sex, their behavior would alter radically. First, there would be no more of the kind of "necking" that all too often leads to pre-marital sex. And realizing the true meaning of love and sex, young couples would marry out of Love — not lust or the various desires to please the self.
A knowledge of the technical functions of sex in the human family is important to every young couple. Once this is mastered, understanding and PRACTICING the "giving" and "sharing" principle in love and sex will practically guarantee continued happiness in this vital phase of married life.
Bring GOD into the Marriage and Family
Almighty GOD must be brought into our thinking — not only about the limited aspects of sex and marriage as such — but about the entire meaning and PURPOSE of the home and family. We need to realize that God ORDAINED the home and family relationship as the basis of all decent society!
Part of the very purpose of the family relationship is to give men and women the opportunity to OVERCOME the very difficulties in marriage which we have already outlined — plus many, many more. By building the right kind of home, men and women can achieve their greatest happiness in this life.
But even more important than that, they are making use of a God-ordained opportunity to build the highest type of CHARACTER for all eternity!
That is why any type of sex relation outside of a Godly marriage is SIN and is punishable by DEATH in the lake of fire! It is cheapening and degrading any future marriage in advance. It is WRECKING the very basis of all decent society!
And that is why our modern practice of divorce — and especially of divorce and remarriage — is such a crime and a SIN in the eyes of Almighty God. This damnable practice teaches young people at their slightest whim to cast aside the RESPONSIBILITY God laid on them as husband and wife to learn the lessons of patience and faithfulness and self-sacrifice in marriage; and to build the kind of CHARACTER for which God placed them on this earth!
The Almighty commands: "What therefore God hath joined together, let NOT man put asunder" (Mark 10:9).
If you do not yet fully understand the scriptural truth on this entire subject of divorce and remarriage, then write in immediately for Mr. Armstrong's free booklet entitled, Divorce and Remarriage.
The ANSWER
The real ANSWER to our divorce problem, then, is to teach young people not only the purely technical aspects of sex, but that love is something we GIVE and share with others. Teach them God's pattern of organization in the home — that the father is the leader and provider of the home — and that he is the Head of the house. As Judge Samuel S. Liebowitz recently said in an excellent article in Reader's Digest, proposing his solution to the problem of juvenile delinquency: "Put Father back at the head of the family."
Then we must teach our young women to prepare for wifehood as their highest and most honorable calling. They should learn to cook without relying on a can-opener, to sew, to properly care for and train their children, to be a loving help — a crown and glory to their husbands.
We need to restate God's PURPOSE in marriage and the home — that it is a place to build both happiness and CHARACTER.
Young people will then follow a new concept in dating and picking a mate. They will realize that sex is only a part of the entire expression of love in marriage and the home.
Husband and wife will then learn to give and share in the entire marriage relation. Each will know his God-given place in the home, and will take it with humility. Together, they will teach, train and discipline their children. From babyhood, Father will teach his children respect for authority — SOLVING the juvenile delinquency problem before it even starts. Yet all of this will be carried out in an atmosphere of LOVE and consideration for the ultimate good of the entire family.
Realizing and following God's PURPOSE, the home will become the center of family life and recreation.
There will be real family fellowship and fun at mealtime when everyone eats together under Father's watchful and kindly eye. Instead of all "canned" entertainment through TV, radio or the movies, many evenings will be spent around the fireplace, in family games or contests, or in reading and talking together.
There will be family outings, sightseeing trips, hikes, picnics and camping trips. There will be special dinners and all-day occasions with relatives and friends. An atmosphere of unity, of "togetherness," of LOVE will permeate the entire family.
All of this will be possible because the giving and serving attitude in love, sex and marriage will be understood and practiced. And because there will be good organization and direction in all family affairs with Father as the recognized Head of the family — and with Mother gladly and proudly backing him up and helping in every way.
And it will be possible if GOD is recognized as the real founder of marriage — and as the Head and Father of all the human family, to be served, honored, and obeyed.
In spite of the temporary trials and problems inherent in this physical existence, a marriage based on these principles will yield great peace and happiness throughout this life — and eternal life in the World Tomorrow.
This is the ANSWER to the divorce problem of America and all the world! This is the WAY in which your marriage can be made beautiful, meaningful and JOYFUL!