Never Take Sides
Let's assume the father really is spanking just a little too hard.
What should the wife do? Should she reprimand her husband, attempt to INTERVENE in his handling of the problem? This is NOT to say, remember, that a case of actual abuse or child beating is taking place — but the right, loving, understanding and God-given WAY of disciplining children!
The answer should be obvious! There is NEVER a time for the mother to openly disagree with, disapprove of, or show contempt for the teaching or discipline of the father.
Some women will disagree with that statement. But they disagree with their CREATOR if they do! It is an ABOMINATION in the sight of God for a wife to rebuke a husband.
What, then, is she to do? Suppose she's right — suppose father really is spanking a little harder than he should?
Then the mother should wait until LATER — wait until she is alone with her husband, and discuss the matter.
The child will NOT suffer any injury if the discipline is not really overly severe. He would suffer far worse injury to his permanent CHARACTER if he saw his mother shrilly accusing his father, and taking sides! It would be one of the most DAMAGING things she could do to her child — FAR more damaging, believe it or NOT, than THE LOSS OF A MEMBER OF THE BODY!
A one-armed man with real spiritual wisdom and CHARACTER is better off than a criminal with two arms.
Can we get the point? Almighty God is the Designer and Originator of the home! He has laid down certain spiritual LAWS to be followed for the success of that home! When those laws are broken the home will suffer the automatic penalties.
NEVER take sides with your children against your mate.
NEVER try to countermand an order given by the other parent — whether that order is RIGHT OR WRONG!
If another tells daughter she can't have ice cream for dessert, and father countermands mother's decision — father is guilty of taking sides. He has hurt his daughter, his wife, and himself, more than he begins to realize.
The simple answer, to avoid taking sides, is to talk things over. KNOW how you intend dealing with your children under specific situations. KNOW each other better. COOPERATE with one another in rearing your children.
Be a Family Unit
What's happened to our family life?
In looking around Pasadena for a large ice cream freezer, I entered a local hardware store. I asked an elderly gentleman in attendance for a 21 gallon hand ice cream freezer. He said he had none — and was surprised that I would ask for one of such bulk. I looked over the stock that he had, and finally settled for a gallon and a half size.
He asked me what I was going to do with such a large size — and I began to explain how I come from a fairly large family, and my wife is one of eight children. We have many in-laws and many other friends, and frequently get together for some back yard outings, dinners, and make some homemade ice cream.
His eyes literally filled with tears and he, informed me this was "simply wonderful!" He said he was from Iowa, and he thought the times had passed when big families got together as a family unit in occasions of this kind!
He expressed disgust at the nerve wracking modernistic helter-skelter search for enjoyment via the movies, drive-ins, and television, and was saddened to see the "family get-togethers" falling by the wayside.
Do things together — as a family. That is as much a part of teaching and training children as any one of those already outlined. If more families would go on outdoor hikes, picnics, swimming parties and the like, they would experience greater feelings of love and a real sense of purpose in their lives together.
.The father who takes his children, whether boy or girl fishing and hunting, on field trips and outings, has a tremendous implement in his hands for proper child rearing.
The mother who takes her daughter grocery shopping, teaches her to cook and to sew, has her help with the serving and preparation of lunches on family outings, is also using a wonderful tool for proper child training.
Only if you, as a family, are willing to OBEY THE LAWS OF YOUR CREATOR putting your family right side up — can you expect to succeed in your goal of rearing children of real character.
What If One Parent Is Missing?
As already stated — you're working under a big handicap if one parent is missing.
But it's not so big you can't overcome it with a little thought and wisdom, and a lot of patience.
Let's assume the mother (since this seems to be the most general case) is trying to rear her children without a husband present. Perhaps there has been a separation, a divorce, or even a death.
She ought to realize, then, that the basic environment which God DESIGNED for the home is missing. She ought to take whatever steps possible to remedy that lack — where those steps are right and good.
What if you have growing sons, and they have no father to be with them, to give them of his masculine personality, his male interests and ways of doing things, his discipline?
You should use real wisdom. THINK about your situation. Do you know of some of the close friends of your children? Do you know their parents? Is it possible for the father of a neighbor boy to INCLUDE your boys on an outing just once in a while?
What about the local YMCA? They have arts and crafts classes, swimming classes and the like which are USUALLY (but be mighty careful to make sure) run by a competent man in the field.
What about summer camp? Ever think of sending your boys to one of the many healthful, wholesome camps where rigorous outdoor activities are offered?
And, finally, what about being a little more active yourself? Get interested in some of the activities, sports, hobbies that would appeal to either sex. DON'T run the risk of letting boys become "mother-dominated" or begin to mimic or unconsciously take on only feminine characteristics!
Take them hiking where possible, with groups of friends where you, their mother, are along. Take them picnicking, bicycling, horseback riding, swimming. These are activities that MANY men AND women enjoy with equal relish.
LOOK AROUND at your environment and your locality. Look at your home life. Do you spend too much time looking at TV? Too much time with other women? Do you spend time feeling sorry for yourself instead of being really absorbed in rearing your children properly?
Can you improve your situation? Are you able to remarry, according to God's laws? (Write for our free booklet, "Divorce and Remarriage" if you are in doubt) Based — upon a right knowledge of marriage, is there any chance for a reconciliation with — the father of your children? THINK about it. REALIZE what a handicap it is to attempt rearing children without a father around! PRAY about it — asking God to HELP you solve the problem.
Our land is literally filled today with divorced and separated women — many thousands of them MOTHERS OF CHILDREN who are becoming loose morally — who "run around" with other women's husbands, all the while cursing the memory of the man they divorced for having done the same thing — and remembering bitterly the woman that caused it all!
It's time to WAKE UP! It's time to realize our very NATION is being indicted of Almighty God for our NATIONAL CRIMES AND SINS! We have sinned grievously against our youth!
We are sacrificing our own CHILDREN on the altar of lust, selfishness and vanity!
If you have not yet read our free article, "How to Have a Happy Marriage," then request it immediately. It will help guide you toward providing the right, balanced, God-ordained environment for children. Next month, we shall see clearly the real culprits behind our hideous problem of child crime.