II. Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk
Some people continually keep thinking over, brooding over, talking over and generally "moaning around" about every defeat, setback, frustration that they can think of. How utterly miserable they are making themselves!
And there is no excuse!
Every intelligent human being can teach himself — if his parents, friends and tutors fail to teach him — the lesson that crying over spilled milk is stupid. Yes, there is no better word for it — just plain stupid! Oh, I know that we all do it sometimes if we're not careful. But that still doesn't excuse it. For we can change if we really want to!
Again, the inspired apostle Paul gives excellent advice: "Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth to those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13-14).
Will you learn to "forget" — at least as far as worrying about — all your past frustrations, defeats and misfortunes? Can you learn to start each day with a clean slate mentally? Can you learn to "press toward the mark" — toward your goals — without constantly worrying about the past or about temporary misfortunes along the way?
Of course, if you are wrong, learn to examine the facts unemotionally. And by taking "inventory" of your plans, progress and goals occasionally, you will make far fewer mistakes. When you do make serious mistakes, learn to repent — as the Bible says — and be very sorry that you did. But "repentance," Biblically speaking, involves far more than being sorry. For repentance implies CHANGE. It means that you are so sorry — at the time, although not "brooding" about it forever — that you are willing to turn around and go the other way.
That is fine, and as it should be. You should be willing to change when you are wrong. You should be willing to admit error and be sincerely sorry when you find you have made a mistake or committed a sin.
But even God Himself does not require you to stew around forever, worrying, running your sins or misfortunes through your mind over and over again like a repeating phonograph record!
So learn to quit worrying about the past. Learn to stop pitying yourself. Learn not to cry over spilled milk!
III. Always AVOID Bickering and Arguments
Life is simply too short to spend it in acrimonious bickering, fighting and arguing with your associates or those you love. And, strangely, the very ones we love most are often the ones we spend the most time arguing with.
Often it is merely a matter of family background and habit. But it is a costly habit in terms of time, energies and the devitalizing effect of negative emotions. It is not worth the price.
So if you are in a position where you must exhort or correct others, learn to do it firmly, fairly and quickly. Simply let your associates know that you will not tolerate, or engage in, long drawn out arguments and debates.
Of course, learn to use tact and diplomacy when you do have to disagree with or correct others. Do it gently, when possible, and in private.
With your wife, or with associates on the job, avoid the habit of disagreement and thinking you have to "straighten things out" by enlarging upon or improving what others have said in a way that leads to disagreement or argument.
The constant carping away of a disgruntled wife, or husband or business associate can indeed wear one's nerves to a thin edge. If many in a family or organization engage in this type of thing, it will certainly work ruin.
So, again, avoid arguments and bickering like the plague.
The price is simply too high.
IV. Turn Defeats Into Victory
Even though your team loses the game or you lose the big sale or contract, don't let this get you down. Learn to accept with equanimity the ups and downs of life. use the lessons learned in defeat as the springboard for future victory.
In that way, try to turn every defeat into a victory!
Even though an immediate or physical victory will not always be yours in this life, remember that the best victory is to have kept your composure, your love, your courage and your goodwill for others.
Many men and women who have been crippled by war or disease have achieved a remarkable victory because of their very affliction. Overcoming obstacles, doing fantastic things in spite of their handicaps, they have set an inspiring and magnificent example to the rest of us. Often, this kind of victory is the greatest, the most rewarding and the most lasting of all.
V. Face and HANDLE Your Problems with BIG Mindedness, Faith and Courage
The Great Depression of 1929 revealed the fiber of many men and women. Because of terrible business reversals, many an investor and businessman became hysterical, developed high blood pressure and ulcers. Some even committed suicide.
Others, although equally shocked by this sudden reversal in the order of things, determined to see the problem through. They made new investments, built new businesses, in some cases took up entirely new professions and made a success! They were unwilling to let the immediate, the "around," upset them for the rest of their natural lives.
How about you?
Have you learned to be big-minded enough not to let little upsets throw you into the depth of despair? Have you learned not to become resentful or angry just because the other fellow loses his temper? The right answers to these questions are the hallmarks of a big man — a successful and happy man. For, with God's help, we must learn to discipline and control our thoughts and emotions so that they do not in fact hinder us from accomplishing our LONG RANGE GOALS.
Obviously, the man who is easily upset, mad or discouraged is in for terrible trouble if he is dealing with others a great deal in this busy, hustling world. He will alternately be frustrated, angry or discouraged.
But with God's help — if we ask for it in prayer — we can control our minds and emotions. Proverbs tells us: "He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that RULETH HIS SPIRIT than he that taketh a city" (Proverbs 16:32). The truly "big" man RULES his mind, emotions and attitudes so that they do not defeat him.
An amusing yet meaningful account of how Winston Churchill practiced this principle concerns his being run down by a New York taxicab in 1931. He was confined to a bed of pain and kept from his work for some time. Of course, he could easily have become discouraged or perhaps bitter against America and all cab drivers.
Instead, Churchill made front-page news by completely exonerating the driver. Then, he dashed old a lurid description of the episode for which he received $2,500.00!
Churchill was big-minded about what could have been thought of as a "tragedy" by a lesser man. He possessed the understanding that this upset was only temporary and need not be a tragedy at all unless he and his emotions made it so.
VI. Build Faith in God
In the trials of life, you will need to have faith in something bigger than yourself. You should certainly take the opportunity to prove to yourself the existence and present, active ruler-ship of the personal God of the Bible. As you come to see that there is a great purpose being worked out here below, it will give you perspective and wisdom in handling the day-by-day and year-by-year problems of your life.
Learn to take God at His Word. Learn to obey God. Then trust Him to deliver you from trials and tests. "In the fear of the Lord is strong confidence: and His children shall have a place of refuge" (Proverbs 14:26).
If you don't already know it, some day you will learn and really know that the only real faith and courage is that which comes from Almighty God.
With the proper faith and courage from God, you will learn to face and handle your problems instead of running from them. The weak man is the one who "puts off" handling problems as they come up. He is the one who tries to ignore them, give them to others or bury them in desk drawers or filing cabinets.
Often, the emotional turmoil and gnawing worry and brooding resulting from not handling or solving serious problems is far worse than the immediate action of handling these problems — no matter how unpleasant it may be at that particular moment.
One of the laws of success for an executive or leader is to put the most difficult job at or near the top of his "to do" list! He must learn to do the big or difficult job first. He must not shrink from it, but act while his original momentum of getting the facts is still with him.
All of us need to learn to do this in our personal lives. Be sure you get all the facts. Be sure you have time to think and pray to Almighty God over a misunderstanding, an argument or a problem in your family, life, or job. But once this is accomplished, take action quickly!
Face and handle these problems with the wisdom, faith and courage that comes from God!
VII. Be a DOER
There is no use quickly reading vital information like this unless you are going to act on it and put it to work in your life!
Even God describes this principle in relationship to His law: "For not the hearers of the law are just before God, but the doers of the law shall be justified" (Romans 2 :13).
Will you be a doer?
Every one of you reading this has negative thoughts, fears, frustrations, and wrong emotions from time to time. Many of you are, of course, simply loaded with these. This has been, with you and in your family, a veritable way of life. you simply grew up in a family where arguing and bickering, dwelling on the negative side, crying over spilled milk and general pessimism prevailed.
Overcoming this tendency in your life, in your family, in your job will require constant thought and effort. You will have to work hard at first to establish the cheerful, positive approach as a way of life for you.
But the results will be far more than worth it.
So use each key in this article as a tool — a working blueprint to help you make a better life in regard to the proper control of your mind and emotions. And learn to watch future issues of Plain Truth carefully for other vital articles along this line.
Jesus said: "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more ABUNDANTLY (John 10:10). The only truly lasting and lastingly abundant life is being revealed in the pages of this vital magazine. For it is based on obedience to the living laws and WAYS of the Almighty God of love, wisdom and mercy.
Be more than willing to learn, to prove and to LIVE that way!